Rant post sorry...

I know nobody ever reads this blog anymore so I kinda just use it as an outlet for my random ramblings and problems anymore it seems, but it doesn't really matter cause nobody reads it and the random people who do probably have know idea who I am or what the heck is going on anyways...
Lately has been kinda busy... Vironica has been left without a vehicle for the 4th time this summer and it doesn't look like the vehicle is going to be fixed any time soon due to financial struggles, so... shes having to hitch rides from people to work and any time we go home we get to listen to the parents chew her ass for awhile (shes not completely innocent, but she feels bad enough already and was literally trying to avoid being around our parents to avoid getting harped on even more... I'm missing my grandma a good deal right now, feel guilty for not visiting more, but I visit every time I get close to home but it still makes me feel like a pathetic excuse for a human being as I have only seen her 2 times this summer for more than a few minutes here and there. My lovely knees have been acting up again due to my OCD (osteocondritis dissicans, not obsessive compulsive disorder), this disorder causes a lack of blood flow to the joint in my knee so the cartilage and bone die and break off and grind and catch in my knee when I walk... if I do a lot of walking or running/jogging my knees always get bruises on my knees due to it... I have gotten used to normal pain over the years but all the walking I do at work tends to make things worse... work/internship has been challenging. I'm making it work somehow though... most days I'm done around 4 or so... sometimes later and sometimes earlier if I'm lucky, but that doesn't save me from 1am alarm calls... I had one last week that I went out to check and then accidentally locked myself out of my work truck, Roni wouldn't answer her phone so I had to call Nick so i didn't get home until after 3 that morning and had to be up at 5:30 to meet with the guy to get the spare key and drive me out to the site that way I could meet up with one of the other supervisors at my other site... today i got told i am getting even more things added to my plate... i currently supervise 7 sites and 2 of them are currently marketing, but now my superior decided to add another site that isnt even mine that I must market as well and it's bigger than my 2 other sites put together... along with having to do 2 ride alongs a week for the next 3 weeks now too where I have to spend the whole day riding around with them and if I got other stuff to get done that day wait until they are finished with their 8-9 hour day and then go get my stuff done. Roni another one of my friends bug me a bit sometimes complaining about their 6 hour days, when the one person and I both worked sow farms they always used to say that they got out earlier because they worked harder, but now that I am a supervisor and can see numbers I know it's because their site has almost 1000 sows less than mine did and just as many if not 2-3 more most days because the barn I was at was severely understaffed... and others who co koimplain about hard or rough days although I will give credit to the one friend who actually blacked out at work due to falling but was back the next day, but I heard one of the interns complaining about getting up at 7, or some of the interns who have a project at one of my sites were complaining about picking up piglets and having to feel their joints and write it down, I understand its hard but there are plenty of jobs that could be worse... even though I'm a supervisor I still do a lot of hard physical labor today... at one of my sites i had to pull out 2 dead pigs... mind you these are market sized pigs so 250+ pounds minimum, we don't have a cart or anything just the snare hook to put on their leg and move them with pure muscle.... all while trying to keep the other market hogs from escaping out into the aisle all by yourself... I have also learned market hogs are quite the characters, they absolutely love to bite and chew on anything they can get a hold of... it's part of why we can't keep water hoses, brooders or the temperature probes very low because they will RIP them down and break things. My one site has some very aggressive market hogs in it right now... you can't stop in the middle of the alley way because they will jump up on the gates with their front feet and bite your arms... the only way you can walk the pens is to carry the razz can and rattle paddle with you and dont stop moving or you will be surrounded and bitten in the legs/bum... just today marking hogs I got a pocket ripped off by a hog who tried to bite me but thankfully got the pocket instead of me, I have only been pushed down a few times marking hogs but I'm actually a bit of afraid of them anymore, give me 13 gilts to move and I got it handled no problem at least they wont try to bite me and I can use a panel, Roni watched me market hogs once... shes worked with hogs for 2 years now and she says she would be afraid to get in the pens too... I have had a hog freak and run between my legs because I was taking a step forward so my legs were just far enough apart for him to see an opening and decide to try to run through... me being so short he wasn't able to fit under my legs like I have seen hogs do with other supervisors, I just got my legs swept out from under me and thankfully was able to catch myself on my elbows instead of my face... among other things we do a lot of pulling and sorting of younger pigs, so thinking of wean piglets only 12 lbs or so people complain about doing cinco but it's easier to do a bunch of small piglets than that only several of the big guys, it also makes me laugh a bit when people complain about giving circo Vacation at the sow farms, most farms have 2 or more people giving shots to 400-800 pigs, while in finishing wean pigs it's not unusual for us to just do our normal daily treatments of 100+ pigs or even more on a sick site with 1 or 2 people, when one of my farms was sick i did 200 treatments and left the rest for the manager when he finally gotthere as I had to go to another site and he treated 150 more after that.  Or vaccinations, I currently supervise 40,800 pigs, and 2 of those sites currently have 10,400 pigs in each of them, almost a whole day is dedicated to vaccinating 1/4 of the site which is 2 barns each broken into 2 rooms so 1 room is 2500 pigs which is more than some sow farms will even wean each week. Most people dont realize how hard the hog industry is until they work in it and I guess some just aren't cut out for the hard work it takes, I'm enjoying most parts of my internship and have loved taking advantage of all the cool opportunities I have as an intern vs a regular employee, golf outings, trapshooting, leadership pannels, processing plant and feedmill tours, most of the interns dont realize how good they have it compared to regular employees. I'm just glad I can ssee my work paying off in my pigs and I am grateful for all the hard work and learning opportunities, working this full time and being able totry to balance the work and home life (especially the several times I have been called out for hours in the evening) has been difficult, I dont live at home anymore, I buy 98% of my own food with the exception of hot dogs which my mom buys from Sam's club, make my own food, do laundry, clean the house, pay rent and electric bills, but also make time for family and fun and the great connections this internship has offered, some of the advice I have been given at different events and gatherings is worth its weight in gold, not just work advice but life advice too... yeah I'm thankful for the leadership pannels but the fluffy prepared answers they had for that aren't even half as insightful as the stuff that comes from the heart during spontaneous conversations at these events, yes I dont get to go home to my parents and siblings every night or see my grandma or ride the horses as often as I would like but they know me spending time at these events is me bettering myself, making important connections and building me up as a person, I only have 3 weeks left of the internship, but you best bet i try my hardest to make the best out of it as I can, someday when a potential employer calls and asks about me i want them to say she was a good worker, took every opportunity to learn connect and better herself, will show up day or night if it means doing a good job and taking care of animals, I pitty the people who dont grab life by the reins and take every opportunity they get to better themselves even if it means taking short term sacrifices to get there.