You think you have friends

Our house burned down, granted I live in my apartment at college, but that still doesnt mean it isnt a big blow. My mom and step dad and brother lost everything, my sister and brother and I lost a lot as well.... you dont realize what home means until it's gone... for example the flags nick flew over Kuwait for us kids gone, my 3 dead horses and dogs collars.. gone.... all of my baby pictures are gone, graduation cards, all of my elementary school projects, my clarinet, my diploma and cap and gown, all my childhood books and bible, prom dresses and many souvenir shirts, all the mothers and fathers day gifts and family treasures, class rings and wedding rings, and all the small things you take for granted gone in a flash... on top of everything else that has happened... and getting the news your cousin went from having almost a year to live to a few days if hes lucky.... 3 of our 5 dogs are still missing, nick got them out of the house at one point, but we are unsure if they ran back inside or not. We have spent many hours driving around looking for these past few days and there has been no sightings of them from anyone... as days pass it is looking more and more likely that they died in the fire. I just wish things could be semi normal... go out and eat with friends or do something that seems normal... not take a dog everywhere with me, drive around buying food because I cant just stop home and grab a snack or make a meal.... there is a fundraiser coming up and it's really disappointing to hear none of my "friends" will be coming... only one really has a very valad excuse in my eyes because they are having knee surgery that afternoon and they said depending on how they feel they may be able to make it even.... people take things for granted so much... I can no longer go home to my family's house... all the things that held important memories are gone, I cant drive around within 10 miles of home without starting out into fields looking for dogs hoping that they didnt die a terrifying painful death in that fire.... I cant look at our house or I guess its what's left of our house.... a bunch of burned wood and metal... I cant look at it without thinking about how easily nick could have been taking a nap or something upstairs and having ended up dead...... I guess that's why they call it a tragedy....